Endings and Beginnings
Well, here we are. We've made it. We’ve crossed the Winter Solstice. (The best day of winter, in my opinion. The light's coming back. Gives one hope.) Christmas has come and gone and the ceaseless conveyor belt of time carries us on into a brave new year, a year that one can only pray will include an impeachment hearing. It’s the eternal round; only the scenery — and the image in the mirror —changes.
Thinking about endings and beginnings at this threshold time brings to mind the image of the Ouroboros, the dragon/snake devouring its own tail. An evocative and symbolically laden image (particularly if, like me, you utterly detest, abhor, hate, and are completely freaked out by snakes, even pictures of them), the Ouroboros is a powerful representation of transformation, regeneration, and the eternal process of becoming oneself: always dying, always changing, always becoming.
At this liminal time, I think it’s important to pause and honor what is dying, what is shifting, and what is waiting to be born. I've been considering this, thinking about what I’m most grateful for and what I’m ready to leave behind, and, most importantly, what I want to bring forth in the new year. So I'm hitting the big red pause button on the time machine in order to reflect and collect myself and my intentions before blundering on.
I AM GRATEFUL that this year initiated a shift out of my rut, a rut that encompassed all the most important areas of life: health, work, and love. Things are moving, and while it hasn’t been quick or easy (actually quite slow, scary, and uncertain at times) I am enormously thankful to feel the ice flow breaking up a bit. I have gotten mostly on top of a nasty four-year bout with Epstein-Barr, completed a draft of my next book, and left my counseling practice (or rather, it left me), and am exploring my inclinations for more metaphysical work. And though my relationship has suffered mightily with dueling his 'n' hers chronic illnesses, we are still here, still trying, still growing. I don’t have even an inkling where this flow will take me, but that’s the whole point: I’m not trying to direct it. Well, okay, I do try sometimes, but at least I know how silly and futile that is, and I can reel myself back in and (try to) enjoy the ride, flowing to new lands — and warmer waters — on my chunk of ice.
I AM (MORE THAN) READY to leave behind my poverty consciousness: a type of poverty that goes well beyond money and encompasses a very unhealthy (and untrue) sense of lack. I am ready to leave behind my sense of not being enough, having enough, doing enough ... THAT kind of poverty. I’m planning a formal burial at sea and moving on a little lighter, and perhaps faster, without that dead weight.
WHAT I WANT FOR THE NEW YEAR: Insanely good health, a peaceful mind (it's a wish, if not a realistic possibility), engaging work that actually pays me and, most of all, an abiding sense of joy, which my friend, the good Dr. DeLuca defines as, “being touched by the goodness of Life.” Oh, and a successful political overthrow and peace and goodwill on earth.
And now, my friends, it’s your turn. As you turn to gaze back over the year now departing, what most evokes your gratitude? What are you ready to leave in your past? What quality, what purpose, what good is waiting in the wings of your life, waiting to be born?
Whatever is on your list, may it find fulfillment. May you have the courage, grace, and skill to uncover and share a little more of your truth and beauty with this lovely, crazy world.
Wishing you peace, love, and joy. Excelsior
-Kate
