Feeling Meh? You’re Not Alone
Well, congratulations to us. We made it into another new year. And regardless of how you may be feeling about this fact, I think we should all be feeling damn good about ourselves for having slogged through what can only be described as the weirdest—if not the worst— two years in recent history. We’re here. We are, ipso facto, badass.
But the thing is, I’m not feeling very badass. I’m not excited about this year. Even reading about the “Year of the Tiger” and its promise that I am “destined to enjoy a smooth life and good luck in making money in 2022,” something that should make my Taurean self preternaturally gleeful, left me thinking, “Meh.”
What is this?
I’ll tell you what it is.
I think it’s one of the very real and insidious ripple effects of The Stupid Virus. I’m talking about the real and insidious effects of not socializing in person; of long-term solitude; of working online; of living with constant anxiety; of losing income/work/connection/mobility/loved ones.
It’s a lot.
Humans aren’t designed to live this way, which is part of the reason that mental health issues are off the charts. But in addition to the anxiety and depression that are running rampant, there is an equally concerning sort of torpor that has oozed out of these unnatural times. The New York Times in a December article calls it languishing.
Languishing, it said, is “a sense of stagnation and emptiness,” “the dulling of delight” and “dwindling of drive.” Check, Check, aaand Check. It surmised that, “It might be the dominant emotion of 2021.”
And 2022.
I’ll be honest: I am languishing. My kids are languishing. My clients are languishing. If the Times is to be trusted, a whole lot of people are feeling meh. Nothing might be overtly terrible, but nothing’s very terrific, either. We’re all stagnant, dull and dwindled. It’s like the movie Pleasantville where everything is black and white until the protagonists discover some fresh life and color begins to seep into the town.
What to do? Well, if you’re languishing, if you’re feeling meh, here are three, Very Useful Ideas to bring some color back to your life.
FIND A PURPOSE
Purpose doesn’t have to be some grand, spiritual calling. It can be needing to walk the dog or showing up for your job. If you don’t feel you have a purpose, by all means, get one. SO MANY PEOPLE need what you have to offer. Get creative. Find a cause. Volunteer. You can make your purpose simply being intentionally kind to everyone you meet during the day. That’s a fabulous purpose. When I used to work in downtown San Francisco, there was a wonderful, older gentleman who perched near the metro stop and greeted every single person that walked by with a warm smile and a “Good Morning!” That’s a human with a purpose.
GET CREATIVE
Creativity is an antidote for the blahs, plus it connects you to joy, playfulness and inspiration. Start a book or a blog. Paint, sew, cook and share it with others. (Sharing is as important as doing. See below.) One of my colleagues (not an artist) began painting mini angel paintings during lockdown and sold them on Instagram, donating all the money to charity. My friend Todd makes gorgeous quilts and films the entire process in quirky, clever, and really fun time-lapse videos that he shares with the world: doubly creative.
MAKE CONNECTION
Connection can certainly come out of purpose, but it can also be an old-school, simple get together with another human. If you don’t have a person, there are LOTS of lonely, struggling beings who could use some company and kindness. (Think shelters, retirement homes, elderly folks who live alone.) If you’re concerned about The Stupid Virus, there are work-arounds. You can call someone — that thing we used to do with phones. Hang with animals. Go out in Nature. But connect with real, tangible Life. Making even one, real connection a day will help pull you out of that terrible languishing feeling.
And if you combine purpose, creativity, and connection, you get ice-cream. Seriously. Go treat yourself. It’s another cure for meh.
KATE INGRAM, MA, CSBC, is a Counselor, Certified Self-belief Coach, and award-winning author who finds a lot of purpose, creativity and connection by using her words. If you could use support navigating some difficult terrain, dealing with doubt, or connecting with your purpose, go to kintsugicoaching.com or write kate@kintsugicoaching.com.
