From the Archives: Time for Some Perspective

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The following is from the Soul Matters archives, from the halcyon days when we wore pants and had card readings and thought our personal problems were a big deal. Ah, those heady pre-pandemic days, before the overt deconstruction of our democracy, before shut-downs and internecine social and political factionalism. I dare say it's more apropos and vital than ever to find a new perspective on our troubles.  

“Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.”  ~Ojibwa saying

It all began at Madame Stacy's. I stared at the tarot cards on the makeshift table. They represented the state of affairs in my little world. In the center of the spread was the Hanged Man—my current situation. The Hanged Man (who, to be clear, is not hanged by the neck, but suspended by one foot, upside down) is about perspective. As in, get a new one.

Mme. Stacy’s cards do not lie. Lately, I've allowed myself to slip into a monotonous, mental repetition of the oh-so-many things troubling me. That Hanged Man inspired me to change things up. I returned home and, as I stood at the sink, I focused not on my issues, but on what was in front of me. I had just read about a little boy in Africa who walks two miles for clean running water three times a day (true story) and here I stood, staring at clean, clear, flowing water. The appreciation of the fact that I have water any time I want it provided a long-needed zen slap.

Perspective is a mighty powerful thing. It can change an attitude, an outlook, or the entire course of a life. While my problems did not disappear down the drain, the shift in perspective knocked me out of my myopia and gave me enough clarity to see things from a different angle. This is the essence of the Hanged Man. Hanging upside down does not change the world around you: it changes how you see it. 

We all go about in pity for ourselves, often becoming obsessed with our personal problems, which is not to say that some of these problems are not real and big and frightening. But however real and difficult our troubles, they are not the whole of us. They are not the Big Picture. Even in the midst of our misfortunes, a great wind is bearing us across the sky. It’s vital to step outside of ourselves to get a new perspective. Sometimes, we can even catch a glimpse, out of the corner of our eye, of the magnificent arc of this wind-swept life. Such a perspective can help us to understand that even our most terrifying travails are taking us to places of great beauty, breaking us open that we might discover something essential and beautiful in ourselves: Love. Gratitude. Appreciation. Compassion. Humility.

It is far to easy to become wrapped up in what is “wrong” and difficult in our lives, far too easy to slip into self-pity and to forget that this moment is but a point on an infinite trajectory. Sometimes it’s good to hang upside down, to let go of rigid beliefs, to sacrifice our struggles and sense of specialness and see it all from a different point of view.

How to do this? Maybe actually stand on your head for a few minutes. Lie on the floor with the dog and get a canine point of view. (After all, dogs are always happy and chill. They clearly know stuff.) Get outside and stare at the clouds moving across the sky. Consider what others are going through that is harder than what you're dealing with. Breathe. Focus on what you want, rather than what you don't. List all that is truly good in your life.If you do these things, I promise you that your new perspective will bring you greater peace, gratitude, and appreciation: Just in time for Thanksgiving.

Peace and Love, my peeps.    

Kate Ingram

KATE INGRAM, M.A., is a counselor, life transitions coach, award-winning author and sassy spiritualist. Her newest book, Grief Girl’s Guide: How to Grieve, Why You Should, and What’s In It for You, is available now at Amazon.com. To find out more about working with Kate or to receive her newsletter—chock full of witty wisdom and absolutely free—at kintsugicoaching.com.

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On Surviving the 10,000 Sorrows