The Light of Kindness

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"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."
~Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what to say this month. My mind and heart are troubled by what I see and hear: Division, anger, violence, finger-pointing, hypocrisy, grandstanding, virtue-signaling, and a whole lot of agitated herd behavior. It’s truly disturbing.

Kindness, Always.

I think about what to say to my children. Both are teenagers and well-aware of what’s happening. They have their own thoughts and questions and opinions about it all. So I listen, try to ask good questions and offer whatever wisdom I have. Mostly, I encourage them to think deeply, not to follow blindly or jump on bandwagons but to listen critically and thoughtfully — with their hearts as well as their heads. I encourage them to discern the voices of unity from those of division. I say, “Speak out against what is wrong, but don’t do wrong,” I tell them,“Don’t just be against something, be for something.” I encourage them, as I always have, to treat everyone and everything with respect and kindness and to show out with love every day, not fear. 

Be the Light

It’s easy to get caught up in the politics, the back and forth, the “for” and “against.” It’s easy to become angry and reactionary, to take the bait, join the crowd and spout opinions — especially on social media, which demands little (even of the truth) and offers a safe soap box for sound bites. But I don’t want to add to that dark cloud. We need to shine a light, not only to illuminate what is not right, but to lift and inspire and encourage what is.So, while I could certainly proffer my two cents about economics and politics, racism and plutocracy, the more I thought about it all, and with the desire not just to rant but to stand for something higher, I came back to the core question: Do you stand for love, or fear?

Love > Fear

I've written many times about this choice, about living from the heart and following it's lead. (You can read one of my favorite blogs about it here.) The bottom line is this: Fear breeds greed, hatred, anger, violence, walls, separation, division, anxiety, and an “us and them” mentality. Love breeds peace, kindness, generosity, compassion, empathy, caring, sharing, inclusion, and a “we” mentality. If we lived from kindness and love every day — in the thoughts we think, the beliefs we hold, the things we do, the words we speak — the light would erase the darkness. We can’t just demand that the darkness leave: Being the light starts and ends within each of us.If you’re thinking, that’s nice, Kate, but it’s a tad naïve, don’t you think? A bit too simplistic — I invite you to consider the following words gleaned from some of the world's spiritual wisdom traditions. I think you might spot a common thread.

All Is One

Christianity
In everything, do unto others what you would have them do to you. For this sums up the law and the prophets.

Buddhism
Do not offend others as you would not want to be offended.

Islam
None of you are true believers until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.

Judaism
What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah; all the rest is commentary.

Sikhism
I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all.

Shintoism
The heart of the person before you is a mirror. See there your own form.

Taoism
Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.

Jainism
One should treat all creatures in the world as one would like to be treated.

Native American (Black Elk, Oglala Sioux)
All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One.

Kate Ingram

KATE INGRAM, M.A., is a counselor, life transitions coach, award-winning author and sassy spiritualist. Her newest book, Grief Girl’s Guide: How to Grieve, Why You Should, and What’s In It for You, is available now at Amazon.com. To find out more about working with Kate or to receive her newsletter—chock full of witty wisdom and absolutely free—at kintsugicoaching.com.

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It's the Little Things

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Limitations: A Door to Something More