Into the Dark
When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
~David Whyte
from ‘SWEET DARKNESS’
Every year at this time I find myself literally counting down the days to the solstice. I do this to encourage the self in me that dislikes the long, dark days; the self that longs for light and bright and the new life of spring.
Part of this countdown habit comes from my history of loss: both my parents and my husband died in December. (If I could, I’d skip straight from Halloween to Easter. But, I’m still not queen of the world, so no such luck.) I think there’s also an innate, ancestral fear of unending darkness and cold in the mix. But there is another piece — in part cultural, in part egoic — which is the fear of going within, of looking at what’s waiting in the inner darkness. Dark days tend to draw us inward, and for many, inward can be a very scary place.
Americans have a socially sanctioned aversion to the dark moments in our personal lives, the moments where things are not positive, not going to “plan,” not easily “fixed.” We tend to equate dark with “wrong,” conditioned to a seeming endless and ephemeral pursuit of happiness, and only that.
Loss, death, significant illness — even a disquieting dissatisfaction deep down in our being which we can’t seem to quiet — these are the sorts of dark things that lead you to scroll for hours on your phone, turn on Netflix, grab the wine, get busy, and/or find the pharmaceuticals. In other words, to narcotize the self that is scared of the dark.
But what if — what if — the darkness is there to speak to you? What if, in that darkness lies the message, the opening, the passage to a new sort of life: a life that is bigger, braver, and more beautiful? If you knew that were true, would it help you to be less fearful of the dark, knowing that it was, indeed, meaningful? Purposeful? Perhaps even necessary?
I don’t love the dark times, but I am a firm believer — a knower, in fact — that in the darkness, new life is born. That potential life can be transformative, or it can be stillborn; it all depends on whether or not you will recognize and embrace it. By seeing the darkness as the companion to the light, rather than its adversary — something to be conquered and avoided at all costs — we begin to look, to listen, and to find more of who we really are and why we are really here. We become enlightened.
It’s incredibly helpful to be companioned on any journey into the darkness. And of course, that’s what I do: guide and companion folks through the difficult and dark times and help them discover new life. And to that purpose, and in honor of this transitional time between darkness and light, between the current year and the new year (and new life) to come, I want to share two, new offerings coming in the new year.
🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟
🎉 KINTSUGI FOR THE SOUL: TOOLS FOR TRANSFORMATION
This three hour workshop will allow you to focus on a specific challenge in your life and work with it in order to discover true transformation. Whether your darkness is related to loss, change, or old beliefs and fears that suffocate your joy, this workshop will companion you through that dark place and provide specific tools to help you transform it and bring forth new life. I like to call it “soulsugi.”
🎉 SOUL MATTERS MASTERMIND GROUP
This group will focus on exploring the intersection of spirit and everyday living. The intention is to create a a supportive, like-minded community where participants can learn, share, grow and connect more deeply and authentically with Self, Spirit and others. (A six-week commitment will be required.)
💙 If you’d like to find out more or be part of one or both of these in-person events, please connect with me here and let me know your interest. Space will be limited in both to provide each participant the best experience possible.
Here’s to embracing the dark, looking for the light, and joy in the journey.🌟
KATE INGRAM, MA, CSBC, is a holistic life transitions counselor, certified coach, and award-winnning author. She works with clients across the globe from her home in the bucholic, Southern Oregon wine country. Find out more at kintsugicoaching.com or write Kate@kintsugicoaching.com
